Lulu... the final showdown

After weeks of negativity. After the weeks of wondering how bad the new album featuring Metallica and Lou Reed would sound, I have news. Much like the famous Pizza Hut commerical (or was or Dominos?); I can say that I have been to the edge and back. I have sat through Lulu, and I survived. The entire album can be heard on streaming audio here.

While 'The View' may not have been a great choice to give listeners as a sneak peak Lulu definitely doesn't get worse than that song. I mean, that song is beyond horrible. What the track does showcase is the general confusion and mismatch the two rock icons appear to be. I was hoping that Mettali-Lou (as I will now call the collaboration from now on) released the single to lower the bar of expectations, or perhaps a sneak attack to blow our minds later on. While Lulu definitely isn't mind blowing, it's actually not half bad, but not even a quarter good.

Much of this album is Metallica playing at half mass while Lou trying to read or sing poetry over the music. What appears to be the biggest challenge for Metallica here is not so much the song writing, but getting Mr. Reed to sing with the music, rather than against it. It makes anything worthwhile somewhat hard to listen to.

'Pumping Blood' is the first track that provides Metallica fans with some hard hitting riffs that seem to bob 'n' weave over atmospheric sections that dominate the track. It's laughable to think that this might be Metallica's first attempt at avant garde. Lars seems to think so. His drums are falsely improvised and seem predictable.

It's the following two tracks, 'Mistress Dread' and 'Iced Honey' that provide listeners some relief. 'Mistress Dread' kicks off with some pummeling thrash with a violin, or something, droning in the back, while Mr. Reed moans his lyrics through the tornado of sound. This track is not what I expected months ago when this project was first announced, but it's surprisingly effective. However, you wish that Metallica would save the riff for their next album. You know, the one where they again go back to their roots and actually kick ass.

'Iced Honey' sounds more like what I imagined Metalli-Lou sounding like, based off their performance at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies some years ago. It's Metallica when they're rockin' out, something they've been know it do. It makes you wonder what would have happened if this collaboration happened when Load and Reload came out.

I don't want you to think that I've drank to punch and I've been convinced that this album isn't as bad as you'd think. Over all it's mediocre at best, but definitely worth listening to. It show a side of Metallica you'd never expect. As mentioned before, there's a handful of riffs Metallica could have saved for their next album. They chose to blend it in with a bunch of rubbish, perhaps in an effort to save this album and make it appeal to their more traditional fans. The outcome sounds like Metalli-Lou couldn't make up their minds. It has direction, but doesn't. That depends on how you choose to approach the album. With the amount of violins and cellos and avant garde nonsense, it would have seemed more fitting if Godspeed You Black Emperor would Lou. I don't know. I'm glad I got this nugget of curiosity out of my system. Maybe this will be the album Metallica fans will get their parents to listen to.

Spray Paint The Walls: The Story of Black Flag

I'm not going to lie. I haven't read Our Band Could Be Your Lives, yet. I've only seen clips of The Decline of Western Civilization Pt. 1. So reading Stevie Chick's take on the world of Black Flag was my first literary experience with the mighty Black Flag. Spray Paint The Walls easily takes the cake for one of the best books on music history. While Please Kill Me: The Oral History of Punk remains a crucial punk rock read to some, I can say Chick's book trumps it.

Chick's take on the history on one of punk/hardcore's most famous and notorious bands reaches even beyond the band itself. While the narrative focuses on the Greg Ginn's brainchild, the history weaves through the history of many bands, creating a parallel narrative of the history of SST Records and its bands.

Most fans of the growing cache of punk documentaries (books and movies) will not only have an easy time reading this book (as many stories in this book have been well documented elsewhere) but will mostly enjoy what the book seems to try and celebrate: Going against the grain. It tells a story of a group of outcasts that want to remain that way. By the time Henry Rollins joins the band, the Flag has become to writing party anthems that their early EPs made them famous for. The band starts out as a means to rebel against the populous, but eventually creates something popular themselves. And what do they do? They pave a new road, pissing of their fans, but that's what they want. While the first half of the book depicts Ginn and company trying to create something different, the second half of the book shows the band almost trying to destroy it, and eventually destroying themselves.

Some people have questioned the image of frontman Henry Rollins on the cover. Some have argued that while Rollins may have been the most tenured of the bands howlers, he was not the best. Fame SST producer Spot has even been quoted as saying Rollins ruined the band. Chick's portrayal of Rollins would seem quite the contrary. Rollins was not of the bands inner circle. Growing up with Ian Mckeye in the D.C. scene, he was an observer, a fan. Who Henry Rollins was and became was the product of being a fan, first. It's almost as if Rollins is punk rock's Tim Owens.

If anything, Rollins' addition to the band only perpetuated the band's agenda of steering away from. He was a willing soldier to fight Greg Ginn's war to the point that he almost seemed to be the target of the fans' hostility, which only fed Rollins the adrenaline he needed to move on.

The other great part about this book is the story of SST Records, the record label that celebrates band who want to be different. The bands on SST celebrate the concept of punk without the uniform appearance or sound. Chick celebrates bands like the Minutemen, Husker Dü and the Meat Puppets all as bands who share Black Flags need to be different. It's these bands that Black Flag would bring on tour as further means to show down their fans who only want to hear 'Six Pack' and 'TV Party'. Chick manages to tell the story of these unsung heros as a testament to Black Flags work ethic and ideology.

This book tells the story of people who paved the road for the next phase of the underground movement in the purest sense. With no one watching their backs, they created a world, a community to watch their own. This book can easily serve as a manual for any budding musician with the DIY spirit. Anyone who's ever been in a band or had to facilitate their own fun will truly enjoy this book.

Metallica and Lou Reed: End Times

Dear Metallica,
Just Because you made albums such as Master of Puppets and Ride the Lightening doesn't mean that you're infallible.

Gene Simmons once said that there is no such thing as bad press, or maybe any press is good press. Same idea. If this holds true then Metallica must love all kinds of press. Their upcoming album, a collaboration with rock icon/poet Lou Reed, has been stirring up quite the storm. This alliance was originally formed during Metallica's stint as the 'house band' for the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame's 25th Anniversary festivities. What fans of either camp didn't expect was the two to make music. Several years later LuLu is ready to hit the shelves. Or is it ready to collect dust on the shelves?

This project's worst enemy has seem to have been the Internet. While not even released, press releases of lyrics and sound clips of the upcoming album have already been causing quite an outrage. While metal fans can be fairly open minded, they do not seem to be welcoming this album from the metal demi-gods with open arms. To put it mildly, the album sounds like it's going to suck.

The initial outrage came from a 30 second clip of the song 'The View' was released. (Below is a full length version of the song along with footage from the Hall of Fame performance) From the sound of the brief sample one could say that Metallica has another Saint Anger on their hands. It's not wonder why anyone would think that. Putting aside the fact that lyrics from the LuLu album have made James Hetfield cry, the music is horrible.

Death Magnetic may have hushed critics still jabbering over past follies, but 30 seconds of LuLu tells listeners that the band has lost their momentum, or better, their minds. Allow me to sum up what I feel this album will sound like: very shitty garage metal (likely played by teenagers trying to write 90s/2000s era Metallica jams) while one of their stoner uncles recites poetry over the music. Two separate entities forced to cooperate.

Now many of you are saying, "but you're basing this of just one song." It's sad to say that sometimes one song is all you need.

My theory is that Metallica's collaboration with Lou Reed is part of a giant ploy to be remain edgy and cool at the same time. All though Metallica somehow seems to be loved and praised after all the harsh things they've put fans through in the last 10+ years I don't think they'll be able to sneak by with this album. Bringing cool 'underground' bands on tour; playing shows with Slayer, Anthrax and Megadeth (all bands whom are successful, but not like Metallica) and now collaborating with Lou Reed; are all good press and perhaps good for their image. I give them points for giving themselves a challenge, but releasing it as an album? Although this is a collaborative effort and not the new Metallica album, this would serve much better if it were some long lost B-side released in 30 years. Maybe I'm paranoid, or over analyzing. Maybe I'm not. Maybe the band is part desperate to show their fans that they can keep it real while trying new things. You're not stupid, I'm not stupid. So Metallica, don't be stupid, too.

Metallica seems to love putting themselves on the chopping block again and again. While metal fans are always judging, criticizing bands; they seem to always have a feast when it comes to Metallica. Perhaps Metallica doesn't care. Maybe they know that they're so big that they can do whatever they want. They don't need permission from their fans. But seriously. What was the last good batch of songs Metallica put out? The second disc of Garage Inc. is fucking amazing, but it's all covers.

Perhaps the image of the coffin on the cover of Death Magnetic was an act of foresight by the band. They are digging their grave, one album at a time. Hopefully we can collectively stop caring and then they'll go away.