Hater's Edition: Why Iron & Wine really, REALLY sucks, a lot.

Simply put, Iron & Wine sucks. No, really. I hate that band, a lot. Here's why:

In the Fall of 2004 I had just started my schooling at the University of Oregon in Eugene, OR. I shared a dorm room (for all of you who have attended this school know calling those cubicles 'rooms' is a generous offer) with a kid named Paul. Paul and I bonded over 90s hardcore and the occasional fart joke, but that was it. When we were both in our shared space we'd have to compete for who got to listen to music without headphones. On one of those days he happen to put on Iron & Wine.

"Is this the Foo Fighters?" I asked. At the time I thought it sounded very similar to Dave Grohl's acoustic recording of the song 'Everlong'
(Scroll down to hear the song).

"No," Paul replied. "It's Iron & Wine."

For the next few months I would live in a recurring state of annoyance. I'm not saying that Iron & Wine sounds exactly like 'Everlong', but c'mon, it threw me off every time I'd hear it. The album I was hearing had that similar, perhaps exaggerated, whisper Grohl uses on 'Everlong'. And every time he'd play that album, I kept on waiting for Dave Grohl to chime in. This fucked with me for quite some time. Then everyone was listening to Iron & Wine, which made things worse.

Okay, let's all say what Iron & Wine really is: The 'mastermind' behind Iron & Wine, Samuel Beam, happened to get lucky. The basis of his music is essentially playing an acoustic guitar and whispering into your ear. Really? It's that simple? Maybe not, but it sure sounds like it.

Mr. Beam has done what thousands of people with an acoustic guitar, and perhaps a four-track recording device, can do. He's doing the same with guys with musical ability have been doing with their girlfriends for ages, but in the privacy of their bedroom, where it should stay. This music, to me, comes off like you're being sung at directly in the ear. As far as execution of a mood goes, he's hit the nail on the head. But why are people paying money for this? There's nothing original about it. You know there's some dude who heard this guy and said, "Shit! He beat me to it." I have friends that have been making recordings like this for years, how come they aren't making the big bucks? Mr. Beam's music doesn't even deserve the title of 'Indie'. I see people in cafes doing the same thing for chump change. I'm not saying that this kind of music shouldn't exist, it's just not worthy of a record contract and possibly large sums of money and notoriety.

There, I said it.